White Guilt: A Roadblock or a Catalyst for Change?

I want to start with a question that has been on my mind for a while: Are we, as white women, just soothing our guilt when we talk about race, privilege, and bias? Or are we actually doing the work to dismantle the very systems that have benefited us? This is a conversation Karen and I dove into in a recent episode of White Women Wake Up, and I want to continue it here because white guilt is something that so many of us experience—but the question is, what do we do with it?

Understanding White Guilt

White guilt is that uncomfortable feeling that creeps in when we start to recognize our privilege. It’s the pang of shame we feel when we realize that we have unknowingly contributed to racial inequities. It’s the internal cringe when we remember a moment from our past that was rooted in bias. And let’s be honest—white guilt is an unavoidable part of waking up to our privilege. But the real danger is getting stuck in it.

Dr. Robin DiAngelo, author of White Fragility, explains that white people often respond to conversations about race with defensiveness, tears, or guilt—none of which actually contribute to progress. And yet, mainstream conversations about allyship rarely acknowledge how paralyzing guilt can be. Instead, they push us to "move past it" without providing a roadmap for how to do so in a way that leads to meaningful change.

My Personal Reckoning with White Guilt

On the podcast, I shared a story about a time when I unintentionally harmed a Black colleague because of my colorblindness. I had fallen into the trap of thinking that treating everyone the same was the right approach—without realizing that ignoring race also meant ignoring the lived experiences of people of color. When my colleague explained why my actions had hurt her, my first instinct was slight defensiveness. I didn’t mean to cause harm, so why was I being called out? But that reaction—centered on my own feelings—was a sign of my privilege.

That moment could have been a turning point in one of two ways: I could have let guilt consume me, feeling ashamed and uncomfortable but ultimately doing nothing. Or, I could use that guilt as a signal—a sign that I needed to do better, learn more, and actively work toward change. But even that isn’t enough. The real choice isn’t just moving from guilt to action—it’s ensuring that the action isn’t simply a reaction to guilt. Action driven by guilt alone is often performative and short-lived. Instead, our work must be intentional, sustained, and rooted in a genuine commitment to equity and justice, not just an attempt to alleviate our own discomfort.

Guilt vs. Action: Where Do We Go from Here?

If white guilt keeps us frozen, it becomes just another form of privilege—it allows us to sit in our discomfort rather than actively dismantling the systems that harm marginalized communities. So how do we move beyond guilt?

1.Recognize Guilt as a Starting Point, Not the End Goal Guilt is a natural response to recognizing injustice, but it’s not the final destination. Instead of dwelling in it, use it as fuel to educate yourself, challenge your own biases, and take action. If you feel guilty about something, ask yourself: What can I do to make sure I don’t repeat this mistake?

2.Shift the Focus Away from Yourself White guilt can be self-centered if we’re not careful. If conversations about race become about our feelings of discomfort rather than the actual injustices that need to be addressed, then we’re still centering whiteness. Instead of seeking absolution from people of color, listen to them. Learn from them. Support their leadership.

3.Commit to Ongoing Learning and Unlearning As Karen and I discussed on the podcast, part of allyship is understanding that we’ll never "arrive." There’s no finish line in this work. It requires ongoing self-examination, education, and a willingness to be uncomfortable. Books, podcasts, and conversations with marginalized communities are just the beginning.

4.Take Tangible Action One of the biggest critiques of white allyship is that it often stops at awareness. Acknowledging privilege is meaningless if it isn’t followed by action. That action might look like amplifying voices of color, donating to organizations led by marginalized communities, or advocating for policy changes in your workplace or community. The key is consistency—doing the work even when it’s not convenient.

The Broader Impact of White Guilt

Historically, white guilt has been weaponized in ways that ultimately uphold white supremacy. After the Civil Rights Movement, many white Americans expressed remorse over racial injustice, yet few supported policies like affirmative action or reparations that aimed to address the systemic impact of that injustice. The same pattern continues today—performative allyship is rampant on social media, with many white influencers speaking out against racism in the wake of major events, only to retreat when the news cycle moves on.

In 2020, after the murder of George Floyd, companies and individuals alike rushed to make statements about racial justice. But what happened when the momentum faded? Many of those same voices went silent. White guilt led to temporary outrage, but not sustained action. And that’s exactly why we need to hold ourselves accountable.

Are We Just Soothing Our Guilt?

This is a question Karen and I wrestle with regularly. As two white women hosting a podcast about privilege, we never want to fall into the trap of centering ourselves in this work. We want to create a space for other white women to wake up with us—to have hard conversations, to challenge our narratives, and to hold each other accountable. But we also know that awareness is not enough.

So, I leave you with this: What are you doing with your guilt? Are you letting it immobilize you? Or are you using it as a catalyst for deeper reflection and meaningful change? Because at the end of the day, white guilt is not an excuse to disengage. It’s an invitation to step up.

Until next time—stay curious, be open, and keep waking up.

-Jonelle